The ‘Minister for Whatever You Can Think Of’

10:23 Oct 10th, 2011 | 81 notes

We have a problem with giving cabinet portfolios decent names in Australia. We have silly names like the ‘Minister for Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs’ and the ‘Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy’, as if the purpose is to make sure that everyone in the country knows that the federal government does everything including managing the kitchen sink—which is possibly part of the Sustainability, Environment, Water, Population and Communities portfolio.

Then we seem to have a problem with changing said silly portfolio names. The Australian Customs and Border Protection Service has been overseen by fourteen differently named portfolios over the past fifty years:

  • Minister for Customs and Excise - 1956-1975
  • Minister for Police and Customs - 1975-1977
  • Minister for Business and Consumer Affairs - 1977-1982
  • Minister for Industry and Commerce - 1982-1984
  • Minister for Industry, Technology and Commerce - 1984-1988
  • Minister for Science, Customs and Small Business - 1988-1990
  • Minister for Small Business and Customs - 1990
  • Minister for Small Business, Construction and Customs - 1990-1993
  • Minister for Industry, Technology and Regional Development - 1993-1994
  • Minister for Small Business, Customs and Construction - 1994-1996
  • Minister for Small Business and Consumer Affairs - 1996-1997
  • Minister for Customs and Consumer Affairs - 1997-1998
  • Minister for Justice and Customs - 1998-2007
  • Minister for Home Affairs - 2007-Present

Notice how we’ve had a Minister for Small Business, Construction and Customs, AND a Minister for Small Business, Customs and Construction at different times.

Department names also have horrendous nomenclature. We do not tend to name departments after ministerial portfolios, which is terrific when trying to work out what everyone does. For example, Medicare is not administered by the Department of Health and Ageing, but by the Department for Human Services. Because who would ever think that our public health system was run by the Department of Health and Ageing? 

Another example is that there is no Department of Home Affairs to go along with the Minister for Home Affairs. Rather, the Minister for Home Affairs oversees the Australia Customs and Border Protection Service, the Australian Federal Police and the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation, which are all actually part of the Attorney-General’s Department. 

If you were looking for the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations, over the past few years you would have instead been looking for either the Department of Education, Science and Training, the Department of Education, Training and Youth Affairs, the Department of Education and Training, or the Department of Workplace Relations. But be sure you don’t confuse who has responsibility over the Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations. You could be looking for either the Minister for Tertiary Education, Skills, Jobs and Workplace Relations, or the Minister for Schools, Early Childhood and Youth. Take your pick.

There is nothing structurally wrong with our ministerial cabinet system. My point is that it is confusing, very confusing. The United States Department of State has been in continuous existence since 1789 with exactly the same name! The person responsible for the Department of State is the Secretary of State! If an agency doesn’t look like it immediately fits into an existing department, don’t just create another department. Heck, put it in the department that sounds right. The United States Office of Scientific and Technical Information? Well, it sounds scientific. The Department of Energy sounds sort-of scientific, so just throw it in there.

Reorganizing department names and ministerial portfolios for the long term would not only ease confusion, but would save substantial resources from having to reprint letterheads every couple of years. I’m sure the Minister for Sustainability, Environment, Water, Population and Communities/Minister for Environment Protection, Heritage and the Arts/Minister for Environment, Heritage and the Arts/Minister for the Environment and Water Resources/Minister for the Environment and Heritage would be most pleased about such a development, depending on which year you asked.